Wasting Away in Margaritaville

This morning I found myself in my company kitchen with one of the few sane and seemingly normal people I work with. Having (sorta) recently been married himself, talk inevitably turned to wedding planning. We talked about the date, the location, and then the conversation turned to one of the most exciting and fun parts of any marriage; the honeymoon.

Planning for the honeymoon is like every other part of the wedding planning process. Depending on who you are it can either be a ton of fun and a great way for you to connect with your future spouse or it can be an absolute nightmare of contentious battles that lead you into planning a trip neither one of you really want to take. I'm lucky because both my fiancee and I are extremely adventurous and love to travel. It's hard for me to believe that there are a lot of people out there who really don't enjoy traveling. I'm not talking about going to Cancun or Toronto, or even the Caribbean; I'm talking about real-deal traveling. I'm talking about going places where very few people speak English and nobody accepts your US $. Fortunately for me I was raised in a family that embraced traveling. My mom really pushed me to go to France to study when I was just a sophomore in high school. For my high school graduation I spent 3 weeks traveling around the UK with some of my best friends. That trip is full of memories I'll never forget, many of which cannot be repeated here (ask me about the Irish Sea ferry trip or the London experience, I dare you). I was lucky enough to have a good friend who lived in Prague before it became the tourist boom-town it is now. I went and visited him for a couple weeks and really fell in love with the Czech culture. My fiancee has studied and lived in Italy, been all over Europe, and just a couple years ago did a 2 month trip through India and Thailand with just her friend as a guide/cohort. That trip was followed by a trip to Vietnam with her dad where they volunteered in a dental clinic in Hoi An for much of the time. The coolness factor of those trips still has me in awe of her today. Her spirit of adventure and love of travel is one of the major reasons I fell in love with her. We live in a great big, really interesting world; and there are a lot of parts of it I haven't seen. If money was no object and family stability wasn't important, I'd spend my life traveling the world with Page. But it is and it is, so I guess we'll just have to settle for a really cool honeymoon.

I know what you're going to say. "Aren't you getting married in Mexico? Why don't you just stay there for the honeymoon?" We definitely thought about it. But living in Southern California and having Mexico so close we really wanted to explore some different options. My fiancee also works for a VERY high end resort with locations in some of the most exotic locations in the world, so we really wanted to explore some options we normally wouldn't have the money or time to explore. So we sat down with the company website and started looking at possibilities.

We could do the Asia and the far east. Japan and China, even parts of Russia would be so interesting to explore. Just the sheer China-ness of China would be cool to experience. I've always wanted to go to Japan. And ever since I watched 8 hours of Wild Russia on DiscoveryHD I've been obsessed. However, I don't think camping out in a yurt in -30 temps would be Page's idea of a decent honeymoon. I'm sure the room service is super slow out there, and there's no way you could get a mint-basil body scrub with a hot mud wrap after hunting bison all day. Vietnam, Cambodia, Burma, Laos and Thailand are all big "must-dos" on my list, but my fiancee has been there-done that (at least little bits, and the parts I would want to do on a honeymoon are precisely those bits) and we want the honeymoon to be a trip of discovery for both of us. I don't want her to feel like a travel guide the whole time.

We could do Europe, but we've both done Europe. I know, I know, Europe's a big place. Here's the rub with Europe. I'm a nerd. She's not. If we go anywhere where there's any type of historical backdrop (especially if it's architecturally historical), I will most definitely nerd out for days. I will take every historical walking tour of every city we visit. I will go to every museum I can possibly cram into one trip. I will study the history of each place until I can recite useless trivia facts to Page ad infinitum. It will be tons of fun for me, but not for her. And it definitely won't be relaxing. And isn't relaxing the main point of the honeymoon? Isn't the whole purpose of the trip to melt away all of the stresses built up from months and months of fighting over whether to invite this second cousin or that friend of a friend, which flowers to use in which place, and whether or not the groomsmen or bridesmaids toasts will take a slightly inappropriate and completely embarrassing turn? And that brings us to...

Bora Bora, the South Pacific, or the Caribbean. Ahhhhh, it calms me down just thinking about the turquoise waters, the swaying palm trees, the soft sand...so magical, but after a couple weeks, also so boring. I'm not a lay in the sand for hours getting tanned kind of guy. When I go to the beach I bring a book and a bunch of stuff to do. I like to have a soccer ball, football, frisbee, or something to keep me occupied. My fiancee, on the other hand, can lay around on the beach for hours at a time. She has it down to an art form. But even she can't do that for 10 or 12 days. So what are we to do?

We looked and looked and looked and decided that we would try to go to a couple different places, including Bali and Ko Samui. Neither of us have been to Bali, and the resorts we're looking at there are close geographically, but topographically they couldn't be farther apart. One is on the beach in a gentle bay, the other is on the banks of a river in the middle of the jungle. Both represent completely different parts of the Balinese culture, and both offer a completely different experience. Ko Samui is one of the most beautiful islands in Southern Thailand. And while my fiancee has been to other parts of Thailand, she's never been to Ko Samui. Thailand has always been at the top of my "must see" list, so I'm excited she's willing to do that part of the trip.

Now don't hate us or think we're spoiled. We're both working very hard to make this trip fit into our budgetary guidelines. And since she works for the company that owns the resorts we're staying at, the trip is much more financially reasonable than it may sound.

Honeymoon planning has given us a ton of good things. First of all, it's helped us create and stick to a savings plan. I know that I am picking a healthy financial partner, and while that may sound cold, it's reality. So many marriages break up because of finances, and it's important to know how you work as a financial team. Secondly, it's allowed us to talk openly and honestly about the adventures we want to have while we're still young enough and family-free enough to do it. All this honeymoon talk has really helped both of us open up an talk about what we enjoy about traveling, and since we plan on doing as much traveling as we can, this is crucial to both of us enjoying our travels together.

The bottom line is that the honeymoon is really much more important than simply choosing which beach to lay out on or which castle to see. It's about getting out of your comfort zone and exploring the world you don't see everyday. This can be downright terrifying for some people, which is why it's so important to be honest with your partner about what you want and expect when you travel. For those couple weeks it's the two of you against the world, and your partner can either be your best ally or your worst enemy. Anyone who's traveled with a less than compatible travel companion knows exactly what I mean. Personally, I can't wait to explore new places and cultures with Page.

And I know we'll end up somewhere with good room service. I'll need it after that mint-basil body scrub.